woodstock decides to die

You never heard me speak, barely saw me fly,
I walked along with Snoopy; thus, you never saw me cry.
my logic is erratic, I could wind up telling you a lie,
I am such a miserable bird so today I decide to die.

One day I played hockey on my birdbath during the cold winter,
I felt very sad that I longed for a mom's hug, so warm and tender.
Snoopy was so kind that he joined me in search of my mother,
but our feet led us to a carnival where the crowd made me feel warmer.

When Snoopy was the head beagle, I became his secretary,
when he played golf, I became his pathetic little caddie.
When we played football, he hit my head and called me a sissy,
then he began to read and stopped playing with me and my frail body.

I've never been famous like Tweety and the big bird from Sesame Street,
so what's left of me is my snout that doesn't even look like a beak.
How I wish before I die I could have at least two front teeth,
which I would exchange for my idle wings and these fragile feet.

So this serves as my last will and testament before I kill myself,
I turnover my nest and birdbath to my secret friend who is an elf.
I won't think of speaking with charlie because for me, he is deaf,
hoping that my best bud is happy with his stupid books in a shelf.

Farewell to you, my friend Snoopy and to your practical jokes,
you'll never see my neck again which you used to shake till I choked.
To the flying birds I envy, mostly to Superman with an inviolable cloak,
today I'll fly with you without a beak-bleed, but with a bottle of coke.