The Art of Suppression

Diane... clad in a long red dress, rouge-faced, with a pair of white sophisticated gloves covering her fragile smooth hands, those beautiful hands Andy adores so much. He holds those hands every morning as soon as he sees them beside his face. He’ll pull those hands into his groin and feel how their softness touch his bare, rough skin. How he adores her. He’ll go into parties with a picture of her if she cannot make it; if she does, she’ll always wind up being star of the night that every face he sees—man or woman—always bears a mark of jealousy, a pang in his heart and a lump in his throat. He has never been proud of anything until Diane came into his life.

Diane... clad in a long red dress, rouge-faced, highlighting her nose pointed downwards, with tiny holes in sync with her white, rubious skin and the narrow opening of her lips—the lips Danny used to love to kiss with the sweet taste of her saliva like an infant’s, with the smell of her breath gently sinking into his senses, and with the push of her tongue that always loved to play with his, like two children in a playground toying in the rain.

Diane... clad in a long red dress that amplifies the length of her legs. Those legs Andy massages in the evening after she comes from the bathroom. Sometimes, while in the bathtub, she will let him in and let him scrub those legs, gently, passionately, as if he were in love with the legs and not with the woman who possesses them. Those legs Danny used to pat when they had an argument, a pat of appeal for harmony rather than conflict. Andy loves her for her erudition and sense of maturity. Danny loved her for her blithe spirit and the childish look in her face whenever she was sad or whenever she was eating ice cream.

Diane… Andy loves the name. Danny loved each letter. Diane… Andy loves her. Danny loved her. And after eight long years, he thinks that he doesn’t love her anymore.

And yet…

DIANE: Danny? Is that you, Dan?

DANNY
Heart: She’s the only woman who calls me that.
Brain: How about your classmates in grade school? Everyone used to call you Dan.
Danny: Hi! Uh, I’m sorry but I’m having trouble recognizing faces tonight. Let me see…

DIANE: Diane.

DANNY
Heart: I think I’m gonna explode.
Brain: Say hi and just leave.
Danny: Oh, I’m sorry.

DIANE: It’s okay. How are you? It’s been a long time.

DANNY
Heart: You have no idea.
Brain: Don’t tell her what happened.
Danny: Yes. A long time.

DIANE: Hey, you’re blushing.

DANNY
Heart: I sent blood to the face, to make you see how fast I beat.
Brain: Suppression machine, initialize!
Danny: Goes silent. Flashes a weak smile.

DIANE: So, how are you? Gone speechless? Do you still write?

DANNY
Heart: Yes, I still do. As a matter of fact, I write every memory of being with you in all of my stories.
Brain: Tell her what you really do.
Danny: I’m in law school.

DIANE: Really? That’s wonderful.

DANNY
Heart: Yes. That means I’m gonna be a lawyer soon. You can marry me now; I’m finally going to be rich.
Brain: She doesn’t want that now. Leave this place at once. Study. You have an exam tomorrow.
Danny: I guess so.

DIANE: Well, that’s really wonderful. I mean, that’s really good. I’m happy for you.

Silence.

DIANE: Are you married?

DANNY
Heart: I never want to get married. I’ve always waited for you.
Brain: Tell her yes. She’s not really interested. Can’t you see how she loves to fool around?

Danny: No.

DIANE: I thought you are. I can see a ring around your ring finger.

DANNY
Heart: It’s the same ring.
Brain: Hide the ring and tell her it’s a college ring.
Danny (almost whispering): It’s the same ring.

DIANE: What?

DANNY
Heart: It’s the same ring I gave you on our first anniversary.
Brain: Stupid. Don’t dare say anything.
Danny: A college ring.

Smiles. Silence. Someone speaking a speech somewhere. Diane and Danny somehow are both speechless. Someone speaking a speech somewhere. Silence. Smiles.

DANNY
Heart: I missed you. Oh, God! I missed you, Dianne, my baby.
Brain: Yes I missed you… as a friend.
Danny: How about you? Are you married?

DIANE: Yes. You remember Andy?

DANNY
Heart: I don’t care about Andy. I beg you. Come with me. Leave Andy, whoever the hell he is.
Brain: Oh, yes. Andy? The stupid jerk?
Danny: Andy Reyes? Sheila’s brother?

DIANE: I thought I would be calling you Mr. Alzheimer before this night ends. We got married a couple of years ago.

Laughter. Long pause. Lovely lass. Lonely lad. Lemony lights. Long pause. Laughter.

DIANE: He’s a good man, you know. A really god man.

DANNY
Heart: I will love you more than any good man will. I will make you happy everyday. I will bring you to your summer dreams. The dreams you told me when we were little kids. Remember that summer when we first kissed? Do you remember? Say that you remember. And that night we first made love to each other? You cried that night and I told you I would never leave you. Oh, Diane, my sweet, sweet baby. I never left. I never stopped loving you.
Brain: Shut up.

Danny: Congratulations! Well, I can see that you know how to wear make up now.

DIANE: Things change, Dan.

DANNY
Heart: I never did.
Brain: Can’t you see? She has changed. She used to hate make ups. She used to tear her mother’s AVON brochures. She has become a bitch.
Danny: Yes. Things change.

Changes. Cheers of Chivas and champagne. Carelessness. Champagne glasses collide, clash, crash. Color crimson chaser crosses his chest. Caresses. Champagne glasses collide, clash, crash. Carelessness. Cheers of Chivas and champagne. Changes.

DANNY: Are you crying?

DIANE
Heart: Dan, you were my Superman. I used to call you Superdan. You were my childhood hero, my childhood love.
Brain: No more caresses. Leave at once. Andy is waiting for you at home. You’ve got a lovely family with a beautiful baby girl. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted? Your life is perfect. You’re happy.
Diane: No, it’s my mascara.

DANNY: I see.

DIANE
Heart: Don’t you recognize the perfume I’m wearing now? It’s the same I used to wear. I knew I would see you tonight. Do you remember the fragrance of our summer days with my perfume? You used to love that smell even when I was sweating. You loved that. Dan, you loved me and you love me still, don’t you? Please say it. I want to know.
Brain: Be reasonable. Don’t bring up the past. Don’t you see? It doesn’t matter to him. You don’t matter to him anymore.
Diane: I guess I have to leave.

Momentary muteness. Meaningful movements. Merry memories made. Moving away. Merry memories made. Meaningful movements muzzle. Momentary muteness.

DANNY
Heart: Please don’t leave.
Brain: Say goodbye.
Danny: I see. Take care.

DIANE
Heart: I missed you, Dan.
Brain: Say goodbye but don’t say goodnight.
Diane: Likewise.

DANNY
Heart: Please don’t leave, Diane. Can’t you see my knees are shaking? If you leave, they’ll break and my chest will explode, breaking the wholeness of me into a million pieces.
Brain: Shhh… There, there. I’m here.
Danny: Tell Andy I said hello.

DIANE
Heart: I won’t because I won’t be leaving this place without you. Make love to me again the way you did. I miss your lips in my mouth. I miss your caresses. You used to make me feel I was pretty. You loved me for what I am, didn’t you? I never changed. This make up? The hell I care about make ups and this shitty dress. Undress me. Feel the woman I used to be. Make me feel that I am still the girl you loved. Oh, Dan, I can’t leave now. Say you love me still.
Brain: Good bye.
Diane: Good bye.

DANNY
Heart: Silence.
Brain: Silence.
Danny: Good night.

Diane… Andy loves the name. Danny loved each letter. Diane… Andy loves her. Danny loved her. And after eight long years, what Danny and Diane have developed is the art of suppression.

xdelax-circa09